The Richness of the Mentoring Experience

Thank you to Hayley for sharing her impressions of the mentoring project as she begins to delve into her research. 

I have been volunteering at The Forum for 3 weeks now, so have met many a cheerful mentor while sitting in the office. However, a week ago I started interviewing mentors for a research project I am doing at the University of Edinburgh. I have been asking questions about how the mentors first got involved with the project, the experiences they have had throughout the process, and why they think the project is important.

My main finding… Wow, what a lovely bunch of people! Every interview made me more and more inspired to become a mentor and join the team myself. Everyone was so enthusiastic about the project and its achievements. 

What really struck me in the interviews was how this project provides so much more than practical support to the mentees. This is clearly a vital aspect of the partnership, but stories of blossoming friendships, adventures around London, and a wide range of knowledge and experience gained by both mentees and mentors really showed the potential of mentoring relationships. The fact that the friendships made through the mentor system often continue beyond the 6 months of weekly meetings really shows how engaged both mentees and mentors are with the project.

The mentors each have their own unique experiences and knowledge which they are encouraged to contribute - be it knowledge as a solicitor or counsellor, or a love for history and exploring museums. I believe it is the combination of this passion and patience that makes the mentoring system so dynamic and successful. One mentor explained how rewarding it was to see her mentee grow in confidence over the 6 months: “When I hear those words [of thanks] from the people I am supporting and mentoring, that is not pleasure; it is something absolutely deeper - gratification - and goes to the heart.”- Vittoria

I would like to say a HUGE "thank you" to the mentors who have participated in my research: Ruth, Gemma, Vittoria and Alec (and possibly more in the future!). I really loved meeting you and have learnt so much from you all!

The Questions and the Answers: Mentoring an Asylum Seeker in London

One of our mentors, Jon, shares some poignant thoughts about his mentoring experience.

Summer 2012. I had just returned from a long cycle journey that had taken me through 10 countries. It was a hard journey over 70 days, mostly alone and never knowing where I would end up, apart from my metropolitan destination: Istanbul. I was always the new one, the one who had arrived from somewhere far away for some strange reason. The questions were always the same: ‘Where are you from?’ ‘Why did you choose to come here?’ ‘How did you get here?’ It was quite a lonely experience, being the only one to answer these questions.

When I arrived back in London in the summer, it wasn’t long before I found the Migrant and Refugee Communities Forum (MRCF). MRCF runs a great mentoring scheme. Under the project, volunteers are matched with a ‘mentee’ who is a migrant to London and would benefit from having someone to give practical and emotional support. Mentoring is an informal role that lasts for 6-7 months, meeting up around once a week. The project seemed to me to be something special because it connected people who might not have otherwise met in the sprawl of London, so I got in touch with the coordinator. Mentoring appealed to me because I felt I would have something in common with migrants to the city after having spent some time being the ‘foreigner’ myself. I also wanted to keep learning about people, one of my main reasons for going away on my journey.

Before long, I was introduced to my ‘mentee,’ whom I will call Mussa. Over the next 7 months I would settle into my role as a mentor, meeting Mussa once a week for a few hours.

The Mentoring Experience

Louie interviews Didier Ibwilakwingi-Ekom about his experience as one of New Beginnings' early mentors.  Didier, who is married with four kids, came to London from the Democratic Republic of Congo about ten years ago.  A lecturer in International Relations by profession, he now works as a community development officer through FAWA (the French-African Welfare Association) and is the founder and Executive Director of New Hope International, which supports and serves as a "signpost" for women who were raped in Congo and who are having difficulty adjusting to life in the UK.  We are very grateful to Didier for taking time out from his busy schedule to speak with us.

Didier recounts how he came to be a mentor:

Didier shares with us how he benefitted from the programme: 

Didier tells us how long he was involved with the programme: 

Didier answers the not-so-simple question "What does life mean to you?": 

The Magic of Mentoring

Paula shares with us her reflections on her experience as a mentor with the New Beginnings project. If you are interested in becoming a mentor or mentee, please click here. 

When I started mentoring, I never for one second envisaged the enriching journey that would beckon. Certainly, life can be joyously wonderful, but difficulties can also pop up, and as a vulnerable refugee with no place to call home, these difficulties can be felt more profoundly. It is my experience that you don’t necessarily have to be a certain type of person to mentor or have a particular job to be qualified. You only need to be able to listen to what another person has to say, to empathise, and just to really see yourself in another. In the end, it is the simple things that count. Going to the cinema, seeing a nice exhibition or even going for a coffee are all invaluable when faced with immense pressure or 'rejection.' Furthermore and more significantly, it makes a huge difference, or it is rather a pleasant breath of fresh air to have someone to talk to, to share stories with, and just to partake in normal everyday activities with. It was not only possible to see the positive changes in my mentee, but I also saw positive changes within myself. Indeed, it is a journey where the mentor reaps as much as the mentee. I saw that it is possible and realistic to withstand the hurricanes and emerge stronger, wiser, kinder and more compassionate. In perfect honesty, it felt as though I did nothing but listen and turn up, but when our mentoring meetings came to an end, there was a tear in my eye, as it was truly wonderful to see my mentee confidently getting ready for her life ahead and genuinely happy about the opportunities that lay before her. I could not believe it was the same person. What quickly became clear to me is that everyone at some point benefits from a gentle word of encouragement. It felt really good to echo the message to my mentee that nobody can reject you and that things can and do improve with time.