Folk Music at The Forum

Thanks to Laura for telling us about the music session last Friday! 

It looked like everyone was having great fun at The Forum last Friday!  In collaboration with Live Music Now, a very entertaining and fun music session took place with Tir Eolas and members of MRCF's mentoring project.  Here are some nice pictures taken by our trained photographer Mulugeta that show how much music can bring people together and develop a warm and friendly atmosphere.

Tir Eolas is a young and enthusiastic folk music group that brought us through the hills of Scotland and Ireland with their tunes and made us move with captivating dances!

Don’t miss our next music session on 15th March at MRCF!

The Mentoring Experience

Louie interviews Didier Ibwilakwingi-Ekom about his experience as one of New Beginnings' early mentors.  Didier, who is married with four kids, came to London from the Democratic Republic of Congo about ten years ago.  A lecturer in International Relations by profession, he now works as a community development officer through FAWA (the French-African Welfare Association) and is the founder and Executive Director of New Hope International, which supports and serves as a "signpost" for women who were raped in Congo and who are having difficulty adjusting to life in the UK.  We are very grateful to Didier for taking time out from his busy schedule to speak with us.

Didier recounts how he came to be a mentor:

Didier shares with us how he benefitted from the programme: 

Didier tells us how long he was involved with the programme: 

Didier answers the not-so-simple question "What does life mean to you?": 

Amell's Corner - Emotional Abuse

Today’s blog will focus on emotional abuse within relationships.

Emotionally abusive relationships are characterized by control games, jealousy, withholding sex and emotional contact, isolation, manipulation, humiliation, verbal abuse, intimidation, refusal to ever be pleased with you, and constantly belittling you and disguising it as advising or teaching. 

With time, the effects of emotionally abusive behaviours wear away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, and trust in self-perceptions and self-concept, cutting at their very core and creating scars far deeper than any physical ones (Engel 1992, p.10).

Other long-term effects of emotional abuse include:

·Depression
·Withdrawal
·Low self-esteem and self-worth
·Emotional instability
·Sleep disturbances
·Physical pain without cause
·Suicidal ideation, thoughts or attempts
·Extreme dependence on the abuser
·Underachievement
·Inability to trust
·Feeling trapped and alone
·Substance abuse

You may find after reading this that many of these things have been done to you or have maybe been attitudes or behaviours you’ve had in a relationship at some point in your life. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are an abuser or are being abused; we're all human and make mistakes! The main thing to bear in mind is that emotional abuse has a clear and consistent pattern, so if you notice such behaviours occurring consistently, it's time to start ringing the alarm bells.

Odi's Story - The Forum

This is the sixth instalment of Odi's courageous story of his political imprisonment in Iran, his difficult voyage to London, and his struggle towards asylum and a new life for himself and his family in the UK.  This very personal account is representative of the horrors and challenges faced by so many asylum seekers around the world. 

Another way to busy your mind is to volunteer.  Last May I was at home, and my friend called and said we had been invited to the ex-detainee conference.  I was so happy.  We went together, and in that conference I learned about the Forum.  I visited some people there, and then I made an appointment for an English class assessment and started researching about the Forum on the Internet.

The Forum helps refugees and asylum seekers and is a voice for them.  I know we have lots of organisations to help refugees in this country and London, but for me the Forum is open and has very friendly staff who really work hard to help refugees and asylum seekers push to the front.  Some of them can’t communicate for lots of reasons; for example, they come from a different culture and are shy or ashamed or mentally unwell.  And the Forum helps them by sending a volunteer to them to make them happier than before.  When these people come out from their home with the help of a volunteer from the Forum, you can see they are happy.  When you’re going with them to the job centre to sort out some problem, it can make you happy and them happy as well, and then you are proud of yourself and the Forum.  And when you are in English class and you see the teachers and how much they are friendly and patient, you are proud of the Forum.

Aissata Interviews Francesca About New Beginnings Mentoring

I don't often write on the MRCF blog; therefore, I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Aissata and I am currently studying at St. Mary's University College in Twickenham. Please forgive my English; I am still learning this language.

First of all, I would like to mention how important MRCF has been in my life for the past two years. I found MRCF thanks to a housemate who showed me this place, and MRCF helped me in many ways. At first, I would come for their voucher exchange scheme. It was only this way that I was able to have cash from time to time, and that helped me in getting items that I usually can’t find at Tesco or Sainsbury’s. And then, I would come for the visits to the theatre, the cinema,  the afternoon picnics, or the workshops.

Even though I am not able to attend some of these events at the moment, I remember that they were really important to me. For example: the creative writing workshop with writer Shazea Quraishi, and the theatre with Maja.  Besides, I found the opportunity of meeting new people in the same situation as I am. I found comfort at MRCF.

I also participated in the mentoring project and was delighted to meet Morven, my mentor, a very kind lady whom I still talk to from time to time. In an interview given in September 2011, Francesca offered us more information about the different activities available here. 

A: Today we are in the company of Francesca who is the volunteer coordinator at MRCF. Francesca, would you like to tell us a bit about yourself and your role at MRCF?

F: I started working at MRCF in 2008, and I’m a qualified social worker, but I work here as a volunteer coordinator and I run a mentoring project for migrants, refugees and asylum seekers. We’ve been lucky and we’ve now got some new funding that will go for the next three years, and so we are also supporting people to move on from the mentoring to more self-advocacy to be able to speak up for themselves a little bit more.

A: You talked about the mentoring project. Could you please tell us what it consists of?

F: The mentoring project is a project that supports anyone who would like to be helped emotionally, who would like to meet friends or someone who could actually listen to them on a weekly basis for at least six months. Every migrant, refugee or asylum seeker who would want to be supported can come to MRCF and self-register and we will match them with a mentor, a volunteer who would have a couple of hours every week to meet up with them. A lot of the referrals come through counseling services or mental health services to better support their clients, but people can self-refer themselves.