Daddies - Our Unsung Heroes

We are very grateful for this moving tribute from Ujwala to her father... and all fathers. 

I have been thinking a lot about daddies recently. I hung out with a friend whose daddy is her superhero, someone no man in the Universe can ever hope to live up to; had a long conversation with a new da, who after 9 months is still struggling to come to grips with 'what just happened'; and gained new perspective into my relationship with my father.

Ujwala's parents giving her away at her wedding

Most dads I know, on the other hand, are enigmas. They have a real tough job. They are expected to provide for us, be the disciplinarians occasionally, 'part with the dough', and yet be entirely clued in. Yes, they toil hard at evenings out and plough through birthday parties (my dad should be crowned king of the Jokes AND the Dance Moves). But there is not much opportunity to have a deep conversation about things other than studies/jobs, money, The News, National Geographic and Cricket, or the like. Braiding hair (mine was 'to my knee' long) and cleaning scrapes, on the other hand, is the perfect setting for some soul searching. Mums have it good!

I think my dad identified with me the most when I was a kid. (I feel unbelievably old saying that and I guess my dad will feel unbelievably older reading it!). All the pictures bear testimony to how clued in we were to each other. But then the practicalities of providing food, clothing, shelter, sourcing books, medicines, gloves, sandpaper etc (at all hours of the night) happened, so that every time he looked, his little girl was a little bigger and he had no clue how she got there. No wonder he still gives me advice like I am a four-year-old. DUH!

So daddies of my generation: you are our Heroes even though we can only ever say 'love you' to amma comfortably. Appa, the next time I call 'weepily', don't say 'Wait, I'll give it to your amma'. Belt out your 'exactly wrong piece of advice' at the 'totally wrong time' so I can shout at you about how 'I am grown up now'. I need that as much as I need the soothing and the clever insights amma follows up with!   

To all my beautiful friends out there who are missing their daddies, I cannot even begin to imagine what a huge hole that has left in your heart. Always remember, he might not know it, but he has made you strong, so you can cope. But I am pretty sure, if he could say something to you today, he would say that he could never cope without you.